im a young adult?????

hello earthlings.
today marks 21st of January 2020, while im typing it's currently 9.39pm. after what seems like a year since my last entry, i am back. coming back without any worries that im going to have a dreadful week of school assignment.

i have completed a year and a half of my sixth form studies. i didn't even think that i could make it since i had so many anxiety in the morning and sweaty palms just by entering the school. i was so scared of the school and the teachers due to their intimidating faces and energy. i had really smart school mates and i really felt like i don't blend well with them. after months had passed, everyone was cool. we complain about the same thing, we finish our homework together, we had anxiety if we're going to have another afternoon class or another economics homework that needed to be done before the teacher enters the class and scream at us like lioness.

my sixth form studies teaches me a lot. friends, teachers, privacy, discipline and etc. all the time i was doing my homework and studying, i just wished i had this discipline when i was in my middle school. doing assignment was a tough one especially if you have to deal with a broken printer and telling your friends to print your assignment for you. i am so lucky that i had a lot of nice, friendly and willing to help friends. i hope for the best of them with good results and be able to enroll to their preferred universities.

now that it is 2020, which means i am turning to a young adult. technically still 19 since my birthday is on september. anyways-  the things that i could do in this age is beyond my mind.  but still i do have a mind of a child. i don't expect that adults will mature by the second the clock's turn to 12 at new year's midnight, but you can't help but think..what are the changes going to bring to you when you finally reach an age of what society or science or psychology seem to say as "adult" or a "young adult".

i don't expect much for 2020. i don't expect for a "new year, new me".  never once in my life i have thought about "new year, new me". maybe that's just me having this permanent self-doubt and being self-conscious that i am never changing physically or mentally. the only thing i'm determined about is reading. i have always been a fan of reading books. i love books and i can never go out without going to a bookstore and buying at least one book. lately, i've bought a lot of books just to stack it up and to read for many months coming. i have set my goals for reading which is 100 books in a year. what strives me to have this new year's resolution that i have been inspired by a lot of booktubers and even the biggest youtuber at this age which is pewdiepie. he mentioned that he had a new year's resolution which was to read more. i was so inspired and amazed by his statement so i decided to do the same. this also leads to me having a deteriorating english. i had english exams for my sixth form studies and i can guarantee you, i had a fun-full of writing block. i don't even think i can speak english anymore and my grammar has gotten worst. you can tell by reading this entry and maybe my future self could cringe at it.

alright, that marks the end of my entry.
ciaoooo